Finnish men are definitely no Romeos
- Oct 24, 2022
- 4 min read
Updated: Oct 3
The image above depicts a stunning portrait of a Finnish man. He appears strong, masculine, and at peace in the quiet of the chilly Finnish wilderness. The cold doesn't affect him; he welcomes it. If you wish to imagine yourself beside him, here are some tips for attracting someone like him.
Forget about romance
Finnish men won't charm you with romantic words or serenade you with love songs; instead, they might opt for a heavy metal tune. To them, this is the height of romance, as it involves expressing their feelings loudly. They use strong, emotive language that might sound like anger, but it often means they're passionately in love with you. This behavior is typically seen when alcohol is involved. Without alcohol, Finnish men are laid-back, silent, and peaceful. You'll come to know the typical Finnish man: calm like a toad basking in the sun, quiet as a mouse, and cool as a cucumber.
Practical daily things
Finnish men express their affection through practical everyday actions. They might prepare meals for you, offer you rides, or assemble your Ikea furniture. They do these things because they care about you and are interested in being with you. They will spend time with you, even if it means standing quietly by your side and listening to you around the clock.
Mainos
Mainos
The rarity of dating culture
Feel lucky if a Finnish man invites you out, as they usually don't engage in traditional dating. Instead of envisioning "Pretty Woman," think of "Levottomat," a Finnish movie that depicts the local dating scene. Receiving flowers, chocolates, or a fancy dinner as part of courtship is uncommon. Instead, they will want to meet and have an hour-long conversation about various topics they hope you'll find engaging. As their date, you aren't expected to smile but to discuss your interests too.
When I asked my Finnish female friends about dating Finnish men, they responded with, "What dates?" They don't go on dates in the conventional sense. I appreciate that Finnish women have the freedom to choose whether they want to date or move quickly to the next level. Finnish women will clearly express how they want things to proceed, how they wish to be treated, and what they seek in a relationship. If they want to get married, they might propose themselves or specify when the man should do so. It's quite normal for them to be this direct, even on a first date, likely due to their culture of equality and open communication.
Boundaries and Expectations
Finnish people also know their boundaries pretty well. They have a mutual connection about the word NO, which means NO. It still does not hurt to be careful. As an individual, you set and create your own boundaries. Some men will not see you as a Finn but as a representative of your culture. I know some of you might bring a relative or a close friend on dates, which is fine. You also have to show your side of the dating culture and explain things. Some Finns might back up, but some will even learn your language and practically be enthusiastic about your culture and heritage. These men are great because they will help you promote your culture. I have seen many Finnish men dancing, wearing cultural outfits, and enthusiastic about their wives' culture and identity. You might see Finnish men in different cultural associations promoting your culture in Finnish society.
The challenging first date
If a Finnish man wants to know you better, they will ask you for coffee. Foreign ladies, remember to bring cash because you will buy that coffee. Suppose you want your date night to include a fancy dinner, a movie night, or a dancing partner. In that case, you have to straightforwardly tell your potential Finnish date what kind of date night you are expecting. Please give him an obvious process about how you envision your date night, from start to finish. Show him your favorite romantic movie until he gets the hint. If he doesn't, tell him directly.
If they are interested in you, they will make it happen. Remember, they are more practical than romantic.
Mainos
Mainos
Bizarre dating experience
Some Finns will want to take you somewhere functional. If they're going to take you on a hike, bring proper clothes and weather-efficient clothing, and expect that you will go for that hike even though there is a blizzard. You should wear a wind jacket, outdoor pants and everything you need to survive in the Finnish forest. Remember, they love nature, the sauna, and silence. They will love the beautiful natural you. It is better than being feasted by mosquitos or freezing to death in the cold breeze.
If a Finn says, he will bring food. Find out what food he means, or remember to eat well before that hiking date because the main dish is typically the Finnish sausage and some weird potato dish. It's a culture shock, and they are very proud of it.
They might bring you to the sauna; to most foreigners; it is a massive "Nooooh." It will take many years to get used to, but bring swimsuits and don't look down. I agree that seeing naked women and men going to the sauna is weird. Some of them are even partners or relatives. It is the most confusing, most bizarre position a foreign woman thinks of when dating a Finn. Yeah, it is hard to swallow. Just accept that it is part of their culture, and you might understand it when you set up a family with him.
Are there any romantic Finns out there?
Finnish-style dating is mostly a turnoff for most foreigners. I have seen so many foreign women shocked by the experience that they never date Finnish men again. However there are some romantic Finns, but these guys are rare in the breed.
Nevertheless, after experiencing the first challenge of dating a Finnish man, you will find that Finnish men are reliable, trustworthy, honest, and fair. The practicality in their ways makes a stable and equal relationship. They will raise the kids with you, from changing diapers, household chores, finance, and everything in between to creating and building a solid connection for the future.
You might find a Finnish guy who will impress you with an actual date, a rare occasion. Congrats!
